jeweled platypus

 

saturday, august 07, 2004
i’ll wait

so, i’m stuck at school. and i’m hungry. i have a lunch. but it’s kinda gross. cheese and mustard. ick. i need something else…like…soy sauce! soy sauce makes everything taste better! ok. the theory of the world:

1) to fix the taste of anything, put soy sauce on it. if it’s still gross, add more soy sauce. if you dislike soy sauce more than what you’re going to put it on, use mustard. but don’t eat soy sauce and mustard at the same time. you’ll be stuck forever wondering whether you are eating soy sauce with mustard…or mustard with soy sauce…

2) to fix anything internal (headaches, etc), take an advil. if that doesn’t work, ask someone else. especially if you’re allergic to advil.

3) to fix anything external (warts, etc) or broken (objects, etc), use duct tape. and unbroken things, too. it doesn’t have to be inanimate, remember! if it can’t be fixed with duct tape, ask a haxor friend to fix it for you.

and that, my dear friends, is the theory of the world. erin and i came up with #1 together. #2 was originally zack’s idea. #3 was originally general consensus.

but i copyright it! bwahaha!

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I’m Britta Gustafson.


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