saturday, april 17, 2004
sneaky ways to get people to do things
from pp. 103-104 of poemcrazy, by susan g. woolridge:
American Indians—at least Plains people, who, paradoxically, value both communality and individuality above almost everything—simply don’t tell their children or each other what to do. According to my Osage friend, the poet Duane BigEagle, Plains people may say, “If you don’t brush you teeth, you’ll get cavities,” or, “If you touch the hot stove, you’ll get burned,” or even more simply, “The stove is hot.” But it’s up to the child to decide whether or not to touch the stove and accept the consequences. Rarely do the Osage say, “Brush your teeth,” or “Don’t touch the stove.”
The Osage have such reverence for individuality, Duane says, that even at peril to their own lives they won’t tell someone else what to do. If four Osage people are in a car and the driver is heading off the road, all the passengers will say is, “There’s the edge!” never, “Don’t drive off the road.” If they’re raised traditionally, Duane adds, they won’t even think it.
i’ve found that this works pretty well. people tend to be more willing to do something if they decide to do it.
comments (1)
i first learned about this some number of years ago. i can't recall exactly how far back, but since then i've employed this and have found it works best in a work environment or with children. it's not necessarily evil or manipulative. the way i see it, and the way i've always seen it, word choice is crucial. this merely emphasises that.
– david on 4/17/2004 16:21:34
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